Nostalgic..

i've been wondering lately..
i should be smiling today..
i should be having a clear head today..
so why do i effing feel SAD?
i don't know.
whenever i hear a sad song or see something that reminds me of that past, i became nostalgic.. my heart hurts..
my heart.. i don't know how much it can bear.
i just know it's about to explode..
and i don't have a single clue how to calm it..
i'm being ironical.. darn.
how did it get worse?
i can't feign my emotions anymore.
it hurts..
it hurts so bad that i think i'm gonna lose my sanity.
i hate this.