ECNIV

LOVE... what does it mean? what does it signify in one's life? why does it exist? what is its origin?

Answers on these questions don't really fully explain what love is.

i experienced it..holding someone's hands, talking and dreaming together with him, smiling now and then because of him, having a day complete because of him..i felt happy, content and blessed because he is with me as I walk the road map of life.i was happy and no word could describe how i feel at that point of time. words just couldn't convey how happy i am. as always, my fairytale didn't have a happy ending. i was hurt, broken, distorted and bleeding from the pain that's consuming all of me.i had nowhere to cling to, nowhere to seek strength and comfort.. i was scared to confide to my friends, afraid to be reprimanded on how much a fool I've been. the agony wants release, but i kept it to myself.colors faded to grey.i lost a purpose to live, and lost a reason to smile.

that was eight months ago..its been long, yet the misery and ache was still there..it never left me, it haunted me and it made me distant..it changed me and i was chained in its powerful embrace..Guys came, but was never given the chance to enter my life..the past still triggers my whole being.. i was afraid to take risks, afraid of getting hurt again.. scared of returning to the realm of infinite tears..frightened of repeating the same moment where my world turned upside down.. terrified of losing myself in the consequences of love..petrified of being forever locked in the dominion of misery and emptiness..i am afraid of loving again and getting wounded..

despite all my fears, HE came..he was sunshine, he brought back colors into my life..he broke the spell of the witch known as Pain..

Is he enough to break the wall of my past? is he enough to take me to the sanctuary my heart and soul is deeply longing for? is he enough to make me forget the past? is he enough to be my present?

is it you ecniv? ;-;